Addiction And Domestic Violence
Having an addiction to alcohol or drugs can play a role in some domestic violence incidents. Help is available whether you need to overcome addiction, stop abusive behaviors, or get out of an abusive relationship.
Author Susanne Reed, PhD
The Link Between Addiction And Domestic Violence
There is a definite link between substance abuse and intimate partner violence. Also known as domestic violence, it is defined as a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that an intimate partner uses to gain or maintain power and control over the other partner.
When combined with misusing alcohol or drugs, domestic abuse can quickly escalate into a dangerous situation that is hard to get away from.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline is confidential and available 24/7. Please call 1-800-799-7233 if you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), domestic violence is common, with over 61 million women and 53 million men experiencing psychological aggression by a significant other in their lifetime. Additionally, 41% of women and 26% of men experience sexual or physical violence by a partner in their lifetime, with many of them reporting that the first time they experienced domestic violence was in their teens.
Physical violence is one of many forms of domestic violence. Someone may also experience one or more of the following forms of abuse from an intimate partner:
- Emotional abuse
- Physical abuse
- Psychological abuse
- Sexual abuse
- Financial abuse
- Spiritual abuse
- Verbal abuse
- Social abuse
- Image-based abuse
Examples of behaviors that can be characterized as domestic abuse include:
- Telling their partner they can’t do anything right
- Dictating how their partner dresses or wears their hair
- Keeping or discouraging their partner from seeing friends or family members
- Preventing their partner from making their own decisions
- Threatening or intimidating their partner
- Pressuring or forcing their partner to do things against their will
- Controlling their partner, like telling them where to go or what to do
- Embarrassing or shaming their partner with put-downs or insults
When someone is misusing alcohol or drugs, their violent tendencies are often exacerbated. In addition, those who experience domestic violence tend to have higher rates of substance abuse.
The Cycle of Domestic Violence
Most abusers go through specific stages of domestic violence before, during, and after they abuse their partners. If you recognize or experience these patterns in your relationship, it may be time to seek help.
Tension Building
During the tension-building phase, the abuser begins getting irritated and starts making threats, which may be verbal or minor. Their partner recognizes their behavior and tries to nurture, withdraw, or calm them down.
Acute Battering
The second phase of domestic violence is acute battering, where the abuser exhibits aggression, outbursts, and extreme violence. The one being abused is likely to have noticeable signs of abuse and may try to leave the relationship.
Honeymoon Phase
The honeymoon phase is when the abuser asks for forgiveness and tries to convince their partner to stay with them, promising never to hurt them again. The one being abused often stays, trusting their abuser’s words.
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The Cycle Of Addiction
Addiction and domestic violence are connected, and addiction is also associated with a cycle of abuse. Three phases include:
- Misusing drugs or alcohol and feeling intoxicated, reward, and pleasure
- Feeling the uncomfortable effects of withdrawal after discontinuation of use
- Being preoccupied and acquiring and using drugs or alcohol again
At each stage of the cycle of addiction, an abuser may feel the urge to harm their partner. Being intoxicated reduces inhibitions and hinders judgment, withdrawal makes them easily agitated and aggressive, and the stress of seeking their next high may be taken out on their partner.
Addiction and domestic violence represent a loss of control over their behaviors. Both abusers and their partners continue in harmful relationships despite adverse consequences and despite substance abuse and domestic violence worsening over time.
How Substance Abuse Contributes To Domestic Abuse
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), alcohol is a risk factor for domestic abuse. They report that intimate partners cause 38% of female homicides. In addition, many domestic violence incidents occur when both the abuser and their partner are misusing alcohol or other substances.
Consuming drugs or alcohol changes how the brain functions, impairing essential communications among neurotransmitters. Substance abuse may contribute to domestic abuse in the following ways:
- Impairs the ability to think, process information, and make good decisions
- Impairs the ability to assess situations and make accurate judgments
- Impairs the ability to control impulses
- Reduces inhibitions, allowing negative behaviors to occur
Arguments over alcohol or drug misuse may trigger abuse. Some substances make a person feel more powerful, and they like to exert that power over their partner. Some partners may drink or use drugs as a way to protect themselves from other forms of abuse, or their abuser may force them to use substances.
Substance abuse contributes to domestic abuse, but it is not the lone factor. Many people consume alcohol and drugs and never abuse their partners. How alcohol impacts one person may be completely different from how it affects another, which is why it is crucial to address any other issues that may co-contribute to domestic violence.
Does Addiction Cause Someone To Be Violent?
Risk factors are the things that make it more likely that someone will become violent. Addiction can be a risk factor for some people. However, many other risk factors usually present simultaneously. Each answer of “yes” to the following questions indicates a risk factor for addiction, causing someone to be violent:
- Do they use alcohol or stimulants, the drugs most associated with violence?
- Do they use multiple substances simultaneously?
- Do they have a mental health disorder?
- Do they have a family history of addiction?
- Do they have a family history of domestic violence?
- Did they grow up in an area with a lot of violence and substance use?
- Do they have low socioeconomic status?
- Did they have delinquent behaviors or conduct problems as a youth?
- Do they have poor impulse control?
- Do they have an aggressive attitude?
According to the CDC, you can ask questions to determine specific relationship risk factors that may connect addiction and domestic violence, including:
- Are they jealous, controlling, or possessive?
- Do they have unhealthy family interactions?
- Do they hang out with peers who are aggressive or abusive?
- Did they experience or witness extreme physical discipline or abuse as a child?
- Are they in economic distress?
Community and societal risk factors can also play a significant role in whether someone develops an addiction and engages in domestic abuse. Many of these same risk factors apply to the person being abused in the relationship. If left untreated, they can both experience severe consequences.
Effects Of Domestic Violence
The effects of domestic violence are far-reaching. Those who are victims of domestic violence are more likely to struggle with a wide range of mental health disorders. Some of the problems that may develop after domestic abuse include:
- Substance abuse and addiction
- Eating disorders
- Depressive disorders
- Anxiety disorders
- Post-traumatic stress disorder
- Suicide ideations or attempts
- Sleep disturbances
An individual experiencing domestic violence may also experience many short- and long-term physical effects, such as:
- Broken bones
- Bruising
- Traumatic brain injuries
- Internal injuries
- Headaches
- High blood pressure
- Gastrointestinal disorders
- Chronic pain
The longer an abuser and their partner go without proper treatment, the worse the effects may become. Fortunately, help is available, and each person can receive individualized treatment to help them learn the skills they need to make a change.
Coping With Drugs And Alcohol
If you are using alcohol or drugs to cope with abuse, you are not alone. Many people turn to substances to ease the pain and discomfort of both emotional and physical abuse. It helps mask the hurt and helps justify reasons for staying in an abusive relationship. Drugs and alcohol offer only a temporary relief, however.
Over time, alcohol and drugs will become one more problem to overcome as they, too, take control of your life. Substance abuse may prolong the time it takes you to get out of an abusive relationship and start living a healthy, happy life.
How To Leave A Domestic Abuse Situation
Leaving an abusive situation safely takes planning and preparation. It may also take several tries, and that’s okay. The more prepared you are, the easier it will be to leave. Use the following tips to prepare:
- Keep evidence of the abuse and take it with you when you leave
- Secure a safe place to stay that your abuser will not find
- Prepare a bag with clothes and necessities that can be hidden in your home (include money, clothes, ID, legal documents, and other essential items)
- If taking your children, have a plan that provides for their welfare and needs
Leave when the abuser least expects it, when they are not home, or while they are sleeping. Keep your location confidential. Seek help from attorneys, victim organizations, and law enforcement. Establish a support system of people who can help you hurdle any obstacles you may face.
Leaving an abuser can be difficult, but with help, you can find the courage to break away and start over. With proper treatment, you can acquire the skills necessary to lead the healthy and happy life you deserve.
Resources For Victims Of Domestic Violence
Resources for victims of domestic abuse are available at the national, state, and local levels. You can contact any of the following online or by phone:
- Domestic Violence Hotline: Text 88788 or call 1-800-799-SAFE
- National Sexual Assault Hotline: Call 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE)
- Futures without Violence: Call 415-678-5500/TTY 800-595-4889
- Love Is Respect: National Teen Dating Abuse Text: LOVEIS to 22522 or call 1-866-331-9474
- Deaf Abused Women’s Network (DAWN) Email hotline@deafdawn.org VP: 202-559-5366
- National Indigenous Women’s Resource Center: Call 855-649-7299
- Casa de Esperanza: Linea de crisis 24-horas/24-hour crisis line 1-651-772-1611
- Asian and Pacific Islander Institute on Domestic Violence: Call 1-415-954-9988
You can reach out to any local mental health treatment facility for help, as well as your primary care physician, your local hospital, or a domestic abuse agency.
Getting Help Today
If you are in an abusive relationship and looking for a way out, don’t wait to get help. Contact one of the numbers above to find support to leave a domestic violence situation.
If you are struggling with substance abuse connected to the stress of domestic violence, seeking appropriate addiction treatment can help you overcome both addiction and unhealthy coping behaviors. Contact a treatment provider or explore our rehab directory to learn more about your treatment options.
Remember, substance abuse and domestic violence do not have to exist in your life any longer. Reach out today.